Switchboard of the Soul
(?) August 14th, 1997

This just in from UFO Reality:

              B.T’s “SOUL CATCHER 2025”

        A Recent report has revealed that scientists
        working for British Telecom are currently
        developing a new microchip that will be ready
        for use in the year 2025. The microchip
        future-tech design will mean that when
        implanted in the skull just behind the eye, it will
        be able to record a person’s every thought
        experience and sensation. Hence its name :
        Soul Catcher 2025.

        “This is the end of death “ DR Chris Winter of
        British Telecom’s Artificial Life team claimed. He
        went on to explain that the Implant will enable
        scientists to report other peoples lives and play
        back their experiences on a computer.” by
        combining this information with a record of a
        person’s genes,” DR Winter said, we could
        recreate a person physically, emotionally and
        spiritually. Implications and more in Issue.

Can someone tell me the scientific definition of a soul? 

These people can't be scientists, can they?  We have yet to finish the Human Genome Project, which is an attempt to map the human genetic code.  The closest thing I know of to this "Soulcatcher" is a device used for hearing-impaired people.  It involves inserting platinum wire into the inner ear and connecting that wire to a "plug" in the person's skull.  The wires take information from an outer receiver and pipe it into the person's inner ear.  This comparatively basic procedure still does not yield perfect (or even mediocre) hearing to the patient, as it does not filter ambient sounds very well, and the input into the ear sounds tinny and mechanical. 

I think these "scientists" should stop shooting for "Soulcatchers" and start on more realistic goals, like time travel, for instance... </humor>



June 11th, 2001

A Million Damn Dollars
May 31st, 2001

Government Stooges
May 13th, 2001