Time travel is an impossible dream.
While it is feasible in a mathematical and quantum sense, the propensity for
galaxy-busting paradox makes it incredibly unlikely. As Hawking as said,
the universe would somehow make time-travel impossible, because of the
twisty-topsy-turvy nature of paradox.
But that doesn't stop some people.
A man named Steven Gibbs claims to have
invented a working time-machine, and he's selling it on his website.
That's right, people, you can buy an
honest-to-god time machine, and for just $360! He's also selling various
"reports" on the different concepts and qualities of time travel
(including a report on "Kabalistic Numerology") for $19.99 each.
Here's basically, in his own words and
his own font, how it works:
THIS DEVICE WORKS JUST LIKE A
RADIONICS MACHINE. IN OTHER WORDS, AFTER THE UNIT HAS BEEN CONNECTED TO A 11OV
OUTLET, THE DIALS ON THE MACHINE ARE THEN TUNED RADIONICALLY FOR THE YEAR,
MONTH, AND DAY THAT YOU WISH TO TRAVEL TO. THIS IS DONE WHILE THE TIME COILS
ARE POSITIONED AROUND THE HEAD. BUT ANYHOW, AFTER THE RATES HAVE BEEN FOUND,
THE UNIT IS ACTIVATED, AND THE ELECTROMAGNET IS PLACED OVER THE SOLAR PLEXUS
FOR THE SPACE OF 3 MINUTES. AFTER THE TREATMENT IS OVER WITH, THE UNIT IS
DEACTIVATED AND THE TIME COILS REMOVED. THE PERSON NOW FINDS A COMFORTABLE
PLACE TO RELAX IN ORDER FOR THE ENERGIES TO TAKE EFFECT. IF YOU HAVE DONE
EVERYTHING CORRECTLY, YOU WILL THEN
BE PROJECTED TO THE YEAR, MONTH, AND DAY.
Mostly, the RESONATOR is only capable of
psychic time-travel...in other words, time travel that could easily be a lot
like a hallucination or lucid dream. BUT, one can travel through time
physically if and only if the following conditions are met:
...YOU CAN USE THE
HYPER-DIMENSIONAL RESONATOR FOR PHYSICAL TIME TRAVEL, BUT ONLY WHEN ACTIVATED
OVER A NATURAL GRID POINT, OR IN A PLACE WHERE UFO'S ARE SIGHTED.
Yep, I wish I could be surprised to read
that, but after two years of this crap, I really can't be.
There is also a long, rambling interview
with Mr. Gibbs in which he discusses the Greys, MiBs, alien abductions and the
New World Order.
There are two possibilities here; Mr.
Gibbs is either a certified psychotic, with delusions that would scare H.P.
Lovecraft, or he's a convincing fraud with a lot of time in the occult section
of the library. Either way, you'll have to make that deduction yourself.
But please, if you can, tell us if he's joking...
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